February 3rd, 2001

Man, it sucks to be sick. You can’t do the things you love to do. I want to play basketball, but I am so weak right now I can’t even pick up a Playstation controller. And I haven’t touched a ball in almost a week. Ugh. On a positive note, I’m closer to finding a job now than ever before. I had my 1st real interview yesterday. I’d like to think that it went well, but we won’t know until I hear back from them. Wish me luck…

January 30th, 2001

Well, I knew sooner or later I`d start putting my random thoughts back up. I am so sad tonight… I`m just thinking about so many things and just about life in general. What do we live for? That little piece of writing on the bottom… yes, it sounds really good and idealistic, but is it really true? Does it really not matter when nobody calls you? Does it really not matter when you don`t have any friends? I wish that were true. In our society, those who are different are shunned. I don`t even know if I spelled that right. Anyways, why am I so sad? I am sad, because I have a friend, and tonight we had a “fight/argument.” Our first. Before, I always denied to myself the fact that I had some feelings for her, but tonight, the thought of losing her hurt me so bad. I thought a lot about what kind of person I am, about my faults, and how to change them. Is it so important that a person does not have any faults? I know that everybody has faults, and yet I cannot accept the fact that *I* have faults. I miss the days when things were simple, and I knew exactly what I had to do, who I was going to see. Now, I feel so lonely and sad. I`m trying so hard to be positive, because I know that there will be a time in the future when I will be happy again. And yet, even as I say that, in the back of my mind there is doubt. What is my purpose on this planet Earth? Whoever reads this probably thinks that I am crazy. Well, I am not crazy, I just think too much.

January 9th, 2001

New year, new thoughts, out with the old, in with the new. Yeah this page looks a lot less cluttered now, doesn`t it? No more random thoughts… well at least not on here. Go to my personal page to see them old thoughts from last year. I don`t know if I`ll continue putting what I think on here. Call me pessimistic, call me a hater, it just seems like AA is a place for little teenagers looking to hook up with someone. Just check out the forums, see which ones have the most posts, and you`ll see what I mean. Life isn`t just about love and trying to hook up with someone, is it? IS IT?!? I think not!

December 15, 2000

Time is going by so fast. Just like that it`s Christmas again. Well, just want to wish you all a happy Christmas. I know I will. =)

Now, on to other things. Let`s see, a few posts back, I mentioned that I wasn’t sure if I liked someone. Well, I realized that I was just thinking too much. Besides, usually if you have to ask yes or no, then the answer is no. It`s just that I had a good time and sometimes it would be nice to have someone. At the same time, it`s wrong to play with someone just because you’re lonely. Wouldn’t you much rather wait for that right person? Sometimes though, I think I`m too idealistic. There are times when it’s better to be realistic. So yeah, I don’t like that girl. She’s just a good friend. Well I am in a talkative mood tonight. I finished what I had to say, but I still wanna talk! haha This is completely nerdy, but I just wanted to say that today I tried to overclock my 700Mhz Duron to a 1Ghz one but I could only manage 950Mhz at 1.85 volts. Previously I had 900 at 1.7 volts, but I figured that since I was taking a risk anyways, why not go all the way? Well, 950 at 1.85 is stable, so that’s cool. I can`t wait until I get a job, so I can finally buy all the stuff I want. Remember though, to be content with what you have. It’s good to want stuff, but don`t overdo it.

December 12, 2000

The miracle of life… man, it`s unbelievable how it seems like a baby just pops out of nowhere. It`s so amazing… 2 people getting together, and creating a brand new life. It just seems like it comes from out of the blue, like all of a sudden, and there`s another person on this earth. I can`t wait until the day when my future wife has a baby. It`s gonna be so cool! haha

Yeah I know that seemed kinda random, but then again, this *is* the random thoughts page. It`s just that I was watching Star Trek and a baby was born on the show. Got me thinking. See ya!

December 10, 2000

At first, there was all this stuff I wanted to write, but after I finished modifying my page I forgot what I wanted to say. Luckily or not, I`ve remembered some of it. It`s just that lately there`s been someone in my life who makes me really, really happy. I don`t know, how do you know when you like/love someone? I feel so comfortable with this person and yet I know that it would never work between us because of our differences. At the same time, I`ve heard that if you truly love someone, you accept them for who they are and accept the not-so-pleasant side of them. I had always thought of this person as a friend, and it just seemed like that all of a sudden it felt like more than friends. Aiya, I don`t even know what I`m trying to say anymore. All I know is that I have to be patient and wait until I know for sure how I feel.

December 3, 2000

Well, it’s true. AA does limit the amount of text you can put for your personal message. Great, what if my personal message is a novel? It’s okay, I was actually inspired by chinese_fairy and now I’ll put my older random thoughts on my personal webpage, located here. I refrained from posting the address here before coz I didn’t want to confuse people, but since AA limits my space I have no alternative. Hope you enjoy!

November 20, 2000

I am a very lucky person. When I am thirsty, all I have to do is open my fridge and there will be a nice cold drink inside. When I am hungry, I`ll find that the fridge is always stocked, and even if it`s not, that I can simply walk down the street and buy some food to eat. If I want to know what time it is, I can look at my watch. These things I want to thank my mother for. She has always been there for us no matter what. Today is her birthday, and I want to buy her flowers and cook her dinner. I am grateful for all the things I have. I feel so lucky sometimes.

November 18, 2000

I think it’s cool how I can just say whatever I’m thinking and somebody might stumble onto it. I wonder if people actually read all this stuff? hehe Well if you do I hope you don’t get bored! haha Yup, all you 219 people who’ve come here!

Someday I would like to visit the British Museum. I want to see all the stuff they took from Tibet and China in the early 20th century. History really fascinates me and it would be so cool to take a picture with a sacred scroll or a statue, or maybe even a mummy! Now you know why my screen name is Nerd_Jonathan. =P