“Would it be worth it if you got some pussy?”
“I don’t know man, I’m not sure about this. What if I get a disease? What if I get her pregnant?”
“Use a condom, then.”
“Yeah, what if the condom breaks?”
“Dude, what’s wrong with you? Everyone likes to have sex. Seems like you’re the only one that doesn’t.”
“Naw, I like sex, it’s just that all the things that could come after it scare me.”
“That’s your problem, you’re too scared. I think you’re just chicken.”
“No! I’m not chicken. Watch, you’ll see. I’ll be the only one getting pussy on prom night while you’ll be at home jacking off.”
I left Dave with a statement that made me sound sure of myself, even though I wasn’t. It was the week before Junior Prom, and everyone was talking about how Dave was going to sleep with Heather and how Ben was going to get it on with Danielle. For me, it was Rose. Rose had the perfect body. Everyone said that I was the luckiest guy on Earth when she asked me to the Prom. I asked them why but all they did was wink and nudge their sharp elbows at me. I didn’t know why it was so important for me to have sex with Rose even though I didn’t want to. My friends and I even had a hotel room reserved for that night.
When the night finally came, the pressure on me was tremendous. It was as if I was on a stage and all eyes were fixed on me. Ben, Dave, and I had dinner with our dates first. After dinner, we checked into the room that would become a pressure cooker later. The room was beautiful: two king-sized beds placed side by side in the middle, a television placed so that it could be watched while in bed(though later the t.v. wouldn’t be necessary), and a glass window that treated the occupants of the room with a pleasant view of the city below. We placed what luggage we had on the dresser and left the room.
After we had unpacked and marveled at our room, we went down to the convention hall. The hall had a small, wooden dance floor in the middle. The rest of the room was filled with chairs and tables so those not dancing could sit and socialize. The hall could easily have carried a thousand people.
The hall began to fill up with those one thousand people. The voices of these enthusiastic prom-goers echoed through the walls of the hall. One voice, however, was quiet. For some reason, Rose never talked. When I asked her if she wanted a drink, she just nodded her head. She never talked. Maybe she was just as nervous as I was.
As the night passed, Rose and I danced. Dancing with Rose was a new experience, as I held her in my arms and pulled her close to me. The night went smoothly except when every two or three songs, someone I didn’t know would walk up to me and wink at me or give me one of those smiles that says “I know something you don’t know.” Overall, I had an uplifting time at the Prom. I wished it would never end, but like everything in this world, as soon as I wished it, the Prom was over. It was time to return to our room; it was time to do what I didn’t want to do.
The click of the room door lock announced our entrance into our room. Ben had brought his cassette player, and he put on some sensuous music. He claimed that that kind of music would put me in the “mood.” As the girls came out of the bathroom, a look of hunger descended upon both of my friends’ faces. They divided the room into two parts: a blanket hung down the ceiling separated the room into two sections, each section having one bed. Ben and Dave took the beds, while I was assigned the bathroom.
Rose and I were in the bathroom now, alone. What would I do? I was so scared. Then, for the first time that night, Rose spoke. “Well, what are you waiting for? Are you gonna fuck me or not?” she demanded. I was truly surprised. Below the coat of nervousness and quietness was a sex-hungry, no care for anything else freak. I knew my reputation was on the line, so I told her that I would do what she wanted, but only if proper protection was used. She brought out a condom and placed it on the counter. I took the condom, turned on the shower, and went in. She came in after me. Then, we did it.
After that night, I tried to uncover a reason for why I did what I did. I couldn’t find one. Clearly, I did something that I was against doing, and it was too late to regret. Rose never did talk to me again, but that’s just as well, because I didn’t want to talk to her. Because of my carelessness, I lost something that I know now was very important to me: my virginity.