A week later, a different look.
I am 38 years old, married, and have no desire to have children. Today, when I learned that my brother-in-law and his wife are expecting their first child, I didn’t feel happy for them, and instead thought of my own childless marriage. I don’t want to say that I was jealous, or envious, because I still have no desire to have a child, but I did feel left out. Many of my cousins, siblings, and even family friends of my generation are already raising children, and I don’t recall feeling this way when they announced their children.
I feel bad that I am unable to feel joy for them, and I don’t want to be fake and congratulate them when the truth is I don’t feel happy for them at all. What should I do?
To answer your question directly, what you should do is to be and stay polite. It’s probably not a good idea to be fake, because depending on how good you are at hiding your feelings, the truth may still be evident in your body language or tone of voice. It’s OK to simply say nothing, since no one’s keeping score (and if someone is, then they’re probably not someone you want to concern yourself with anyway). You could also just be happy for them because they are happy, and not necessarily because they are having a child.
You mentioned that you only felt left out today, and not the other times. Ask yourself what has changed between those previous announcements and today’s. You also mentioned your age – is it possible that you’re feeling the effects of a rapidly-closing pregnancy window? (yes, later preganancies are becoming more frequent, but the risk is still there, and real) You say that you have no desire to have children, but sometimes a deadline has a way of changing the mind.
Lastly, everyone makes their own choices in life. If your choice is different from those of the majority in your circle, then it may be hard going against the grain, and possibly even more so if it’s a conscious decision on your part. This is especially true when it comes to choosing whether to have children. Perhaps today was a reminder of the choice you made, reminding you that you are not the same as your cousins, siblings, and family friends. It can be difficult, but remember that ultimately only you know what choice is right for you, and that only you live with the consequences.
I wish you the best of luck, and thank you for writing.
For tonight’s museum post, we have the October 1992 issue of Video Games & Computer Entertainment.
This is the final magazine scan that will appear on this website in the foreseeable future. After my most recent scan (amazingly, back in May), I started getting busy with unloading more of my things, and finally starting to use eBay for selling. Almost two months later, I’ve sold off my Sega Genesis and its last remaining games and accessories (including my Sega CD), all Super-Nintendo-related things (including the actual console), and a large number of previously untouchable Sega Master System games. Because this was the last magazine from my childhood collection, I kept putting off the scan, but now it’s finally done.
I had saved this magazine for last because it was the one in the best condition, a special collector’s edition featuring a hologram on the cover that came in an envelope. None of the other issues I received came in an envelope, and many of them arrived in bad shape as a result. Sadly, because our scanner is so old, I was unable to do justice to the quality of the magazine. Many of the pages have the vertical lines that I’ve mentioned in previous scans. I tried to eliminate the most egregious ones, but the scanner is on its last legs and no longer produces clean scans, no matter how many times I retry.
But just as well. It’s been many months since I’ve started digitally archiving my magazines, and even more months since I started throwing away all my old things. The finish line is finally in sight. My mind is a jumble of nostalgic thoughts, bittersweet memories, and excitement for the future. When I started this post, I wanted to write a bunch of stuff, but I can’t seem to focus, so I’ll save it for another day. As always, I hope you’ll enjoy this museum post, and thank you for being a part of the process.
Video Games & Computer Entertainment, October 1992 (PDF, 190 MB)
Update 7-20-17: after reviewing the PDF last night I found that pages 47 and 48 seemed to have been moved to page 53. I don’t know if that was an error on my part or the publisher’s, but it has been corrected.
On this lazy Sunday we have a flyer from inside a Verbatim 3.5-inch floppy disk 10-pack, circa 1993. Back in 2012 I went through and recycled the majority of my floppies, saving only the ones that I considered favorites. Now, during this de-cluttering phase of my life in 2017, the rest of them are headed for the shredder (check out the Floppy Disk Memorial too).
This was a pretty sweet deal back then: buy 10 disks, get another with 4 free games, plus another 2 disks via mail-in rebate, for a total of 13 disks. As can be seen from the missing panel, I definitely took advantage of this offer.
Both my sister and I enjoyed these games immensely. We both loved JezzBall, but I think her favorite was Rodent’s Revenge. I can still hear the sound of the bouncing balls in my head. A few years ago when I was still running an x86 version of Windows, I was able to run and install the games. Might have even been Windows 7.
As always, enjoy this museum post.
Here’s the first museum post in a while, the reference manual from Gran Turismo 2 for the Sony PlayStation. The game itself is circa 1999, but this manual is from the re-release “Greatest Hits” version. I probably got it in 2002. Prior to that I played a bootleg version from Hong Kong.
In these past couple of weeks, I have sold off or donated a lot of my old video games. Something that used to be inconceivable, I have now parted with all of my Sega Genesis things. The Sega Genesis, the Sega CD, the last few games and accessories: all gone. All the SNES games are gone. A quarter of the Master System games are gone. Now, it’s Sony PlayStation’s turn.
This will be one of very few PlayStation items that I scan. I’ve been scanning a bunch of Sega manuals and it is quite taxing and time-consuming going through and rotating and cropping each page. Only the truly sentimental items will be scanned at this point.
Reading this booklet was the first time I ever learned anything about cars. I remember reading it late at night and learning the driving techniques, then applying them in the game the next day. Some even worked in the real world, though I won’t say which. 😉
It’s really nice to get such an in-depth source of information from a video game. Something like this would be few and far between today. Hopefully whoever ends up buying the game will enjoy it as much as I did. As always, I hope you’ve enjoyed this museum post.
Gran Turismo 2 Reference Manual (PDF, 102 MB)
Just a quick update to introduce the Sega Master System Index, a centralized location for all the SMS-related stuff I’ve posted on this site. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and now that I’ve reached the point where I’m finally saying goodbye to my games it is an appropriate time. Click on the link above and go!
This final post for tonight is a museum post of the Kaneko Video Glove, a promotional item for the game Air Buster for the Sega Genesis, circa 1991.
I still somewhat remember the circumstances behind how I chose this game. Through some sort of special occasion like acing a test or some other achievement, I earned myself a game purchase. All I had to do was pick one. There was a conversation with a classmate (the prank call guy) where he strongly advocated for this game, and I listened to him. It turned out to be a pretty good buy, as Air Buster is a very enjoyable game (minus the load times, which was probably the first time I ever had to wait for a console game to load).
The game came with a coupon redeemable for this glove, which may seem like a gimmick in retrospect, but at the time it definitely increased enjoyment not only in Air Buster but other games as well. I felt like a professional gamer getting ready to go to work or a pilot preparing to save the world. For a 10-year-old kid, it was real.
Now, it’s another item from childhood to say goodbye to. From what I’ve seen on the internet, this item is a rare and collectible piece of gaming history so I’ll be putting it on eBay for someone else to treasure. Of course, since I’ve already worn the glove (and actually, it still fits), it probably won’t fetch much. Still, it’s probably better than chucking it in the trash.
A last bit of interest: the ads of the time showed the glove as being right-handed, with a Kaneko logo on the back. The actual glove is left-handed, and the Kaneko logo is on the tightening strap.
As always, I hope you’ve enjoyed this trip down memory lane.