I Got Nothin’

I got nothin’. No motivation to work. No hunger for money. No plans for the future. No focus. If you’ve followed along at all these past 12 months, you’ve probably made the same conclusion about me. Being incapacitated with the flu this past week has given me a chance to think about why I’ve become like this. My answer is that I’ve already done everything I’ve wanted to do, and I don’t know what the next thing will be, or if there will ever be one.

Previously the biggest thing for me was moving to Hong Kong. Well, I’m here now. Been here for over a year. Before that, I had wanted to travel and see the world. Well, we took the vacation of a lifetime, traveling for nearly three months straight and improvising an itinerary westward until we were back where we started. I said I wanted to exercise nonstop. I did that. I said I wanted to finally beat StarCraft. I did that. I’ve done just about all the things that I’ve really wanted to do. I got nothin’ left.

Well, maybe that’s not true. There are still some games that I’d like to beat. I still have Adventure 2012 entries to write. One day, I’d like to go on another cross-country road trip, this time in my own car, and this time actually stopping and touring our stops instead of just passing through. Maybe we’ll live out of our car for a few months. After living in a tiny apartment in Hong Kong for over a year, I think I can live out of anything.

I’ve lamented before about being a jack of all trades, master of none. But now that I’ve restarted my job search, I realize that I’m glad this is me. I like experiencing life. I like finding out the answer to “what’s it like?” Until you actually go and experience something, you’ll have no idea what it’s really like. It’s kind of given me the answer that I’ve been looking for, as far as what type of job to look for. What’s it like to be the little man here in Hong Kong? Why is there so much negativity in this city? I kind of want to find out. I kind of want to give the middle finger to all those who ever told me what they thought I should do without understanding who or what I am.